Freebsd Fortunes 4

If a child annoys you, quiet him by brushing their hair.  If this doesn't
work, use the other side of the brush on the other end of the child.

If A fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.
                -- William Blake

If a group of N persons implements a COBOL compiler,
there will be N-1 passes.  Someone in the group has to be the manager.
                -- T. Cheatham

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he
really a guru at all?
                -- Strange de Jim, "The Metasexuals"

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it
is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.
                -- Joseph C. Goulden

IF A KID ASKS YOU where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him
is, "God is crying."  And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing
to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

If a listener nods his head when you're
explaining your program, wake him up.

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.
                -- Friedrich Nietzsche

If a man has talent and cannot use it, he has failed.
                -- Thomas Wolfe

If a man is not a liberal at 25, he has no heart.
If he's not a conservative by 45, he has no brain.